Food for thought

I want to start this off by saying that I know how blessed we are by Cannon's minimal speech delay. It is not a learning disability or anything of that nature so I am fully aware of how blessed we are to not deal with those issues. Learning disabilities are frustrating not only for the child but for the family. I know that it is a commitment that parent's didn't know they signed up for. It can be a heartbreaking journey to say the least. I get that and I truly feel for every type of disability that a child has to overcome.

All that to say that some people assume that because Cannon can't communicate his feelings in a way that is comparable to other 4 1/2 year olds that he must not understand what you are saying to him or that he is even slow. That is so far from the truth it makes me laugh. I am constantly amazed by his humor or imagination. It is wild, full and vast.

To throw in another frustrating kink, he is tall. Oh not just tall as in taller that a few, but TALL!!! He is gaining on Gracelyn and they are 3 years apart. Most people think he is 6-7 in age and therefor expect his behavior to follow that of an older child. But alas he is 4 1/2 and everything that little boys do at that age is silly, funny, sometimes inappropriate, full of toots and full of questions.

When we were faced with a question about Cannon's formal education I was adamant that although he will be old enough to start Kindergarten in the fall that we delay his start date. That we would get another year of pre-K under our belt and start with that. Get him on target or even a little ahead for success. I didn't care he would be taller than any other child in his class. Seriously I know he will be :) I would take care of his emotional well-being while the school takes care of his educational well-being (along with my supervision). Deal?? We each have our roles in this partnership and we each have to do them WELL for Cannon to succeed.

Throw the sensitivity of a 4 1/2 year old in there as well and sometimes I am at a complete loss of what to do for him. Cannon will fall into a puddle over something so small as thinking you are laughing at him. Yep I have one of those types of kids. Or at least a child going through that phase. A frustrating phase it is.

But I will say that if you ever get the privilege of hearing one of Cannon's prayers you know that he loves with his whole heart. He loves me, our family, his friends and our God with everything in his being. He is perfect in his creator's eyes and his words are no longer jumbled, slurred or mixed up. They are sweet and sincere.

We have been working on articulation for so long (2 1/2 years) that sentence structure hasn't been high on the list of priorities. Along with correct letter sounds we are also working on hard consonant sounds at the end of words so that not everything is open ended. Lots of work by his WONDERFUL speech therapist weekly and then additional work here at home. Work, work, work. We are so proud of his determination to make sure we hear him, understand him, communicate with him.

This is where I really start to think I didn't fulfil my end of the bargain. I spent so much time on letter sounds that I didn't remember to enforce the letter name. I didn't guide his letter recognition in a way that would make him successful to start school ahead of the pack. So yes my son doesn't know his letters, numbers, all letter sounds or even how to write his name. He can recognize it but he can't write it. Is he behind?? NO he just hasn't been taught yet. Who is to blame? Well of course I am the teacher momma so I take the hit HARD! I feel the looks, stares, judging eyes among other mommas with similar aged children who know these things already. YAY for them. I want all children to succeed and be successful so I never wish them to be behind like Cannon. It doesn't bother me they are ahead of Cannon. It truly doesn't. I want them to thrive, grow and learn in a way that makes them the best. But I want it for my son as well. I want those same things.

Cannon is also a very good judge of character. I mean GOOD. He knows who loves him for being the wonderful boy he is and who is bothered by his frustrating and limited speech. He clings to those who give hugs freely and don't get worked up because they can't understand him. (Sometimes just agreeing with a nod is best.) Cannon knows who is patient and will listen. Who is too busy to stop and pay attention. He knows. He is a good judge of character that boy. So in turn he LOVES grandmas and grandpas. LOVES THEM. He refers to his own grandparents often and wants to say hi to any grey haired person who looks his way.

We will get there. We ARE getting there. We continue to learn and grow and gain more knowledge each day. And it isn't because Cannon has failed at learning. It is because we have been preoccupied with life. I have been to the park after school 3 times this week. I promise all you have to do is text me around 3:10 and I have a car load of children heading to a park somewhere in Amarillo. Ready to swing as high as birds, run as fast as tigers, slide as smooth as otters (all according to Cannon). Come join me!

And I hope soon we can master the ABC song because goodness I am tired of the repetitive wrong version we currently have in our play list.